Yes that’s the right ThatFMRegen is back. I really didn’t think I would be saying that to be honest. So I thought u would write a little explanation as to what happened and why I buggered off so suddenly.
Over the last 12 months I have been juggling my fm life with the life of being a father and husband and also being the sole money maker In the house.
As fm17 came out I tried to branch myself out offering help to others and also tried to integrate myself more into the community by joining groups on twitter, WhatsApp and even made my own community content Facebook group, this was great in my eyes but what I didn’t see was the strain it was putting on my home and work life.
In the run up to Christmas my wife could tell I was distant, I was being overwhelmed with group chats, the pressure of making fm content and constant messages whether that be on twitter, Facebook or WhatsApp was getting too much. I was forever glued to my phone replying to someone or something. I had conversations with a few people about ditching the thatfmregen name as it was taking up too much time but decided to carry on.
The nearer it got to Christmas the more stressed I was getting, at some points it felt like I was being attacked by people on a daily basis for just minor things, whether that be who I was speaking to or my decisions on the game, some people just didn’t know when to give up I felt and it was putting a huge strain on me so much so that my wife and daughter weren’t getting a look in.
The above is just one thing of numerous things that were going on, looking at my twitter timeline every 5 seconds and also trying to play the game was also straining me, it had turned into an addiction, something which I felt I couldn’t control.
On Christmas eve I decided to turn my phone off and try and spend a nice Christmas with my family which actually was lovely, then boxing day came, the extended family left and all I wanted to do was get back into fm and start afresh speaking to people and getting on with something I love.
There was a very big row between me and my wife, over the past 10 years of us being together she has always been fine with me playing FM and liked the fact I had something I enjoyed but I think she had just had enough of it, she didn’t offer me an ultimatum but I knew that if I didn’t try and put more into real life issues than fm then she would probably take my daughter and leave.
They are my life, my heartbeat, they mean the world to me so I took it upon myself to complete detach myself from fm and the fm community.
Now I had 2 choices I could put a tweet out and speak to my friends in the communty and explain the situation or I could just delete everything and disappear. I choose the latter, why? Well I knew if I chose the first option I would get talked around or be told I’m being melodramatic, also I didn’t have time to once again be replying to t0nnes of messages.
I felt if I just deleted everything I could remove all the fuss and hassle of explaining myself. I still now feel that was the right option.
It’s now 7 weeks since that happened and I couldn’t be happier, my life is great now, I’m spending more time with my wife and daughter and things are amazing, I had a chat with my wife and we spoke spoke about fm and how much it means to me and she understands that I now want to get back into it and try and reintegrate myself back into content creating and into the fm community but making sure it doesn’t take over my life like before.
I know I have annoyed some people by my sudden disappearance and the fact I literally deleted everyone off of every social platform I used, it was wrong but I literally didn’t want to cause a fuss and and at the time felt it the best thing to do, I have seen what certain people have said, that I offended them or that I let them down, if you feel that way then I am sorry, deeply but I had to do what I felt best at the time.
I also want to thank the few people who were genuinely worried about me and went out their way to contact me to check I was ok. Your support is massively appreciated.
I’m not sure when I’ll be back blogging again, I have a couple of ideas that interest me but I want to take it slow and try and balance my life first and foremost.
I hope you now understand and will forgive me for the sudden disappearance. If you want to speak more then don’t hesitate to DM me on Twitter @thatfmregen